Real estate bloopers

Every now and then I come across a listing that might not have been quite as carefully crafted as the agent might have liked. Here are some recent finds:

“The reno’d kitchen offers a large butler’s style panty prep space.” I’m sure the butler appreciates that. Always good to have a place to prepare your panties.

“The huge kitchen/great room boasts lots of natural light via a picture window, granite counters and tile floors.” Err… I don’t think so. Unless there’s a clear granite I don’t know about.

“The new kitchen with granite counters and new faucet flows into the dining room.” Gosh, I hope not. Flooding is not usually a selling point.

“Condo fees include snot removal.” I’d really rather have the condo corporation stick to snow; I can handle my nose myself.

One of our realtors asked for ad copy for a newspaper listing, and got this: “A home perfect for the disconcerting buyer.” Let’s hope that buyer isn’t too disconcerting; it’s not easy to work with someone who freaks you out.

And then this gem: “This home has been eloquently updated.” Nothing like an articulate house — it practically sells itself.

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